Where's my Focus?

I have to be honest and say...it's been one of those days! You know, the kind where nothing seems to go right. It started with me oversleeping...definitely not living the Proverbs 31 "gets up while it's still dark and provides food" verse today. Shortly after, here comes my three year old, "mommy when you get off work, will you paint my room red?" Seriously! Then came the total meltdown, because of course I'm not painting his room. "Wahhhhh!! But red is my fravrite...not yucky blue. Wahhh!!"
I get to work & realize I have lost something rather important! Search the office...nothing. Search the car...nothing. Back home to search the house...nothing. I use my lunch break to search my husband's car...nothing! Just great, now I have to admit to several people that yes, over the past 3 and half years something (or some things) has caused most of my brain to be sucked out and now I tend to lose things, which never happened to me in the past.
Ok...I'm getting over it, I'm moving on and then a conversation is brought up about soccer. Oh yea, I have promised Joshua he can play this year. Hmm...wonder when I need to sign him up. Oh...15 DAYS AGO! Nice...now I get worst mommy of the year award.
Then I'm reminded of Matthew West Song "My Own Little World"

Start breaking my heart for what breaks yours
Give me open hands and open doors
Put your light in my eyes and let me see
That my own little world is not about me

Ouch. I made this entire day about ME. I worried about how others would perceive ME, if MY kids would like ME, and how to get control of MY day back. Forgive me God. Each day should be about YOU. May I be a light for you & put my selfish ways behind me!

Who Would Have Thought?

We were recently blessed with the opportunity to go to Disney World on vacation. For Josh and I, knowing the trip would include a 15 hour drive, the dreaded double stroller, diaper bags, nap time, mad dashes to a public "potty" & then a 15 hour drive to get back home, knew this may not be the place where dreams come true for us. But I was determined to seize the moment and make these memories with the boys. The trip went surprisingly well! No major catastrophes or even meltdowns and there were several moments that I will cherish...Joshua's pure excitement to meet the characters (especially Lightening & Mater), Eli's first hair cut at the Barber Shop in Magic Kingdom, Joshua's laugh when he rode Goofy's Wild Ride roller coaster, & the way Eli kept smacking Daisey Duck when she was trying to sign their autograph book. However, none of them compare to that one priceless moment that makes the whole trip worth it and just when I least expected it...Boom! there it was. One night, we had decided to stay and watch the fireworks at Magic Kingdom. I figured we may not last through the whole thing because Joshua scares easily at loud noises and after all, it was just fireworks. We had surely experienced more exciting things that day. Those fireworks started shooting off one after the other and my very active three year old froze in his place. He was in awe. It literally took his breath away to watch them. "Mommy, Mickey is doing this for us!" And then...the moment...the four words that made the trip ALL worth it...right in the middle of that beautiful fireworks show..."I LOVE YOU MOMMY". That was it, my heart melted, my mom got teary eyed (we still tease her about it) and for the rest of the show we all watched that precious boy instead of any fireworks.

It made me think...when is the last time I have stopped and been in awe of God's glory? How must He feel when I rush about by day and never pause to say "I love you?" Wow! The blessings He has given us is overflowing. The next time you have a moment that takes your breath away, stop and praise God for it. He does these awesome wonders for us, is it not the least we can do for Him?

The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;

where morning dawns, where evening fades,

you call forth sounds of joy.

Psalm 65:8

Some Times You Just Have to Get Knocked Down

It has been so long since I blogged, I'm not sure where to start! Basically, I got sick and fell out of the habit. The fall of 2010 proved to be a challenging time in my life. As most of you know, I ended up in the hospital three times due to pancreatitis /my gallbladder. It has only been within the last month that I started feeling like myself again. Although I wouldn't say it's the best time of my life, I learned several things these past few months:


1. I have never been more in love with my husband than when I was laying in the hospital crying out in pain, throwing up, & recovering from surgery. Sound romantic enough for you? But he was right beside me the whole time...drove me to the emergency room, held my hand (and throw up bucket), & never left my side. Now, I'm sure he can think of other times that were more enjoyable in our marriage but I would not trade that for anything. God showed me the wonderful man I am blessed with having as my husband. I take him for granted way too much. I am THANKFUL to have Josh as my soul mate.


2. I could not help but think about those that are really sick. So many people around us are suffering with terminal illness; or even worse, their children. I hated not being home with the boys. I missed Joshua being a ring bearer in a wedding & I had to allow others to take care of my children. After I came home, I was still not able to pick them up or let them climb all over me for several weeks. Joshua would ask "Is your tummy better yet, mommy?". I was able to see the huge blessings God has given me. Although I had a few bumps in the road, I was getting better and I had two healthy little boys to be THANKFUL to make many memories with in the future.


3. I am a definite control freak! It totally unnerves me to let others "do" for me. Well, there is nothing like having a suprise week long stay in the hospital (on more than one occasion) to allow others to help out. Our parents kept the boys so Josh could stay with me, family & friends brought us dinner, came up to the hospital, & prayed for my health to get better. I was overwhelmed with the love and support we received. Once again, I saw more blessings from God. I am THANKFUL for the people He has placed in our life who we can always count on to be there for us. But I am also THANKFUL for the people that do not even know us that well but just wanted to show us God's love. Nothing was expected of them, yet they were there for us anyway.


So maybe to sum it up...I really just learned one thing: God has blessed me beyond measure & I am grateful for this wonderful life He has given me. Too bad it took all that to remind me of it. :)